


My Beloved Is My Glorious Ruin

by maikurosaki



Category: Bleach
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Byakuya needs to deal with his feelings, Fluff and Angst, Ichigo Is Oblivious, M/M, Pining, Presumed Dead
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-30
Updated: 2016-12-30
Packaged: 2018-09-13 03:49:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,675
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9105415
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maikurosaki/pseuds/maikurosaki
Summary: Ten years after the end of the Winter War, Byakuya's life would appear to be back on track. The sudden news of Ichigo Kurosaki's presumed death hits him like a freight train, the consequences far reaching. He has to face several realizations, none of which is more vital than the fact that his feelings for Kurosaki run deeper than he initially thought. Luckily, Ichigo is there for every step of Byakuya's journey. What follows is a story about love that heals, a love that is ultimately exhilarating and real.





	

There had been nothing special happening that day, the one about which people would speak for years to come.

The sun arose like any other day, problems had to be solved at the division and a captains' meeting to be attended. Nothing heralded the turmoil that would follow. Tragic things rarely did but still, Captain Byakuya Kuchiki remembered nothing particular about that day, although at the time, he rarely remembered things that weren't related to - well, he wasn't going to mention his name but it was safe to assume that Captain Kuchiki had quite an ordered life, and chaos wasn't welcomed into it.

All the same, it had been such an ordinary day.

Alas, the proud Captain of the Sixth Division should have learned his lesson by then. He should have known that as soon as he decided that his life was going to flow unperturbed, something was bound to happen. Every time, every single cursed time, when he had decided that his life was going to flow into the trajectory that he desired, something came to pulverise his plan: he had met Hisana, his sister had been sent to the material world, Ichigo 'Cursed-Be-His-Name' Kurosaki came to Soul Society, Aizen's betrayal, the Winter War.... He could continue _ad nauseam_ and discuss the ways his life would never meet the peace that he had so desired. However, it would be pointless and Captain Kuchiki had a way of being sickened by pointless things.

How naïve of him to believe that ten years after the end of the Winter War, seven since Kurosaki had been brought to Soul Society due to the prolonged effects of the war on his being, and five since Kurosaki had been appointed Captain of the Third Division, everything would continue to run smoothly as it had before.

He should have realized sooner that something would come to shift his world yet again, making it so much more difficult to rebuild. How naïve of him not to have noticed that most of the times, such destructions of his inner peace were all linked to one Kurosaki Ichigo. How naïve of him to think he would remain unchanged by such a hurricane of stubbornness, strong will, and kindness.

But mostly, how naïve of him to believe that he would remain untouched.

Alas, it took a certain event to unfold to make him acknowledge the fact that his life had been devastated a long time ago.

All it took was that simple ordinary day.

*******

“Chamber 46 made the following corrections on the budget for each division,” Captain Commander droned on. “And before I listen to any complaints that you might have,” and he pointedly looked at Captain Muguruma and Captain Kenpachi, “I would like to remind you all that some of the captains are not attending this meeting due to their responsibilities, therefore I will set a new date for such a meeting to occur.”

“In case we would like to make some rectifications to the budget,” Byakuya found himself asking, “which would be the manner to proceed?”

“I am glad you asked, Captain Kuchiki.” Captain Commander breathed a sigh of relief. “You are all to complete form 56A to advise about which points of the budget you disagree with and form 89C to clarify which changes should be-”

“Captain Yamamoto!” The alarmed shout was accompanied by the slam of the doors as two guards let inside Third Seat Ebisawa of the Third Division to pass through them.

To say that the Third Seat looked horrendous would be the understatement of the year. The shinigami was terribly wounded with gashes covering most of his upper side of the body, and bleeding profusely from a head wound, which had been bandaged but with little effect. He knelt instantly though his pain was obvious and bowed quickly, however, his gesture didn't hide his anguish. The overall state of the Ebisawa made sudden bile fill Byakuya's mouth.

“Third Seat Ebisawa, what is the meaning of this? Where is Captain Kurosaki and how does he permit such unmannerly behavior?”

“Sir, please forgive my intrusion, but I have come bearing ill news.” The Third Seat could no longer contain his tears and Byakuya bit the inside of his cheek so hard, he tasted the bitter flavor of blood within seconds. For a calculated warrior as Ebisawa to have such a strong reaction, it meant ill news indeed. In absolute stunned horror, the Third Seat took out a white bloodied rag which once was the cloak of the Third Division Captain and the vestiges of his legendary sword, and laid them at their feet. “Sir, Captain Kurosaki is dead!”

A frozen silence followed, dispersed at times only by Ebisawa's sobs. Byakuya looked at the others to see whether he was the only one not believing such a preposterous news, and he could see his own disbelief mirrored on the other captains' faces. Among the present captains, Captain Hirako and Captain Muguruma had been the closest to Ichigo whereas Captain Ukitake and Captain Shūnsui had played the role of mentors for the rash and young Captain Kurosaki. Their faces were monuments of incredulity and grief. As for Byakuya, there was something cracking and opening, something that resembled terrifyingly to a pit of utter despair, and he was horrified by his own feelings.

Kurosaki had been a pest, a brat, that tipped his nose in matters that had been no concern of his. A spoilt child that hadn't learned yet that it was impossible to protect the ones that he loved forever, a child that had known nothing of the world. Yet, the news of his death seemingly dug a hole inside Byakuya' heart with horrifying accuracy and depth.

It was Captain Hitsugaya that dared to move first and go inspect those so-called proofs. He touched the remaining hilt and immediately took his hand back as if it burnt. The remarkably stoic captain seemed out of his depth for once.

“It's Ichigo's” he gave the verdict, his voice cracking.

“It can't be!” Captain Hirako immediately came to his side and checked the remnants, only to let go a painful growl. He pulled up the Third Seat by his uniform without any regard for his wounds, and shouted in his face, “Have you abandoned your captain in his hour of need? How come he is dead and you are alive? What happened?”

“Captain Hirako, you will release Third Seat Ebisawa immediately!” Captain Yamamoto ordered and it took Shinji several seconds to comply with the order. As soon as he let go of the man, Third Seat Ebisawa crashed to the floor, sobbing again.

“We were checking the area in Hueco Mundo as we were ordered,” he said gasping for air, the pain marring his features, giving a reality to his words. “Captain Kurosaki sensed a presence, a spiritual pressure that didn't belong there, and before we knew it, we were attacked.”

“Who attacked you?” Captain Zaraki seethed, his disbelief jagged just like his sword.

“I don't know, sir. It happened so fast. In just a few moments, four of our people were dead and I was wounded. Captain Kurosaki managed to protect the other ten, including me, and he sent us away, he said that we needed to get back to Soul Society and call for back up. He said,” and Ebisawa broke down completely, “he said that we will find him there upon our return. But when we went to open the portal, we couldn't. We hid for the night and tried to open it again in the morning with no result. It felt as if the entire energy of the place had been sucked. We went back to the place we left Captain Kurosaki determined to help him, but when we got there, we couldn't find anything other than his captain cloak and the remains of his zanpaktou. And blood, so much blood.” Ebisawa tried to clean off his tears to no avail. “Still, there was enough residual energy there to open the portal and we did so as soon as we could.”

Byakuya's immediate thought went to his sister. To say that Rukia was going to be devastated by such news would be a gross misinterpretation of their mutual affection. Byakuya had been sure for a long time that there was more than friendship between Kurosaki and Rukia and reluctantly had decided to give them his blessing when the time would be right. Naturally, he had been more than surprised when it was actually his lieutenant that had dared to ask for permission to court his sister, most likely at Kurosaki's insistence. Which of course meant that Abarai was going to be devastated as well. The scale of the desolation that this news was going to bring was immense and unprecedented.

“Captain Hitsugaya,” Captain Yamamoto ordered, suddenly seemingly tired of everything, “assemble a team straight away to go and investigate the place. See,” and his voice roughened, “whether you can find Captain Kurosaki's remains. You and Captain Hirako will be in charge. Both of you are under strict orders not to engage in any fight if you are to find whoever defeated Captain Kurosaki.”

“Yes, sir.” The Captain of the Tenth Division acknowledged solemnly, whereas Captain Hirako simply nodded, silent tears falling down his cheeks, apparently unable to comprehend what had just happened.

“Third Seat Ebisawa, you are to go to the Fourth Division quarters immediately, heal as much as you can, while the team is assembled, and then I want you to accompany them to Hueco Mundo. Your report on the matter will be requested later.”

“Yes, sir.”

“Captain Soi-Fon, inform the other divisions not represented here of what occurred and advise them that funerary garments will be accepted. All other missions are canceled and all are to return to Soul Society until further instructions. Meeting adjourned.”

The abrupt dismissal did nothing the quell the vexation and grief that enveloped all the captains, some of them unable to leave the meeting hall. Without realizing it, Byakuya took a few steps towards the remnants of what once represented Captain Kurosaki, which were still laid bare on the cold floor, an icy pang grabbing at his heart. Yes, Kurosaki had been a formidable opponent and an incredible Captain. He would admit that at least to himself.

Staring at them, he thought about going to Rukia, inform her personally about what happened. He thought that Captain Ukitake wouldn't mind if he did that. However, his body was unable to obey to his own orders as Byakuya couldn't tear his gaze away from the remainders, all that blood that smeared the number three on the cloak and made it look like the incontestable proof that a great man had died.

How had that energy, stubbornness, and fire disappeared from their world without the sky falling on them or at least grumble its dissatisfaction?

“You must be really happy about it,” Hirako seethed with such hatred that it dumbfounded Byakuya.

“I honestly have no idea what you are talking about, Captain Hirako,” he replied quietly, looking at the shorter man, who couldn't hide his hatred. It was so obvious, it lit up Hirako's eyes, which burnt deep with self-righteousness.

“Come on, Kuchiki, we all know you hated Ichigo!” He shouted, startling the other captains still present. “We all know you considered him beneath you, even when he proved to be the true heir of the Shiba clan. He was never good enough for you. He confessed to me what you told him when you worked together on the Eda case.”

“Captain Hirako, I will take into account your grief, but I would advise you not to repeat such accusations. While Kurosaki and I had our disagreements, I am not glad he died. Such an accusation is absurd, and I would be more than happy to teach you a lesson about spreading such assertions so lightly.”

“Now, now, boys,” Captain Ukitake intervened in a gentle voice, “now it's not the time for such a brash behavior. Shinji, I know you suffer, but please remember that Byakuya isn't at fault. Come with me,” and Ukitake took Shinji by his shoulders, “and let's help Toushirou assemble the team. And Byakuya, you should go and speak with your sister. Rukia will be in a great deal of pain and she will need your support.”

Byakuya was left alone in the meeting hall with the broken and bloodied vestiges still at his feet as if they were the charred remains of Kurosaki's soul. The news had been so devastating that nobody thought about them. And although he didn't want to admit, Hirako's' words did hit a nerve. Because he had been exceptionally petty with Kurosaki when they both worked on the Eda case, a case involving a shinigami that had experimented with his powers until they had taken over him and had almost destroyed Soul Society. Kurosaki had insisted he try and save the man, but Byakuya had killed him before more could be done. Later on, he thought that maybe Kurosaki had seen something that had eluded Byakuya, but at the time, he had been more than furious to have such a young man question his decisions and he had been petty, reminding Kurosaki _again_ that he had no place in Soul Society, though in effect they all were alive because of him.

There was unresolved tension between him and Kurosaki. Kuchiki was very much aware of the fact that he still couldn't remember their fight without a sense of shame, having been defeated so easily by a shinigami with little to no experience. That shame had shaken the very foundations of his being, making him realize that the image that he had created for him was not real. There were quite a lot of areas where he needed improvement. Thus he had despised himself and Kurosaki alike, for forcing him to acknowledge his own flaws. Nothing had been more painful for Kuchiki than realizing that the story he had created about himself was false. That despicable battle with Kurosaki had left him asunder, the difficulty to put the pieces back together insurmountable at times.

Silently, he took his captain's cloak off and gently put the remnants on it before covering them. A sudden weight pressed down on his shoulders, his heart crushed under an unimaginable burden and he tried to push it back. He knew all too well their source, but he refused to acknowledge it. He had buried it so long ago, there was no use letting it resurface now.

*******

Upon seeing him without his captain's cloak and with a grave expression on his face, Rukia realized that something was terribly wrong right away. Byakuya found himself incapable of uttering one word, therefore, with trembling hands, he revealed to her the remnants of what once belonged to Ichigo Kurosaki. Her eyes filled to the brim with tears and reached for them with a shaking hand, but stopped before she could fully touch them. For a moment, Byakuya thought that this would be all, that she would let herself cry and grieve. He was sorely mistaken.

Her wail would haunt his dreams to come, for Rukia was absolutely devastated and she began to sob, constantly repeating _no, not Ichigo_ as if denying such a gut-wrenching reality would deny its result. Byakuya hugged her awkwardly, but he was more than relieved when Abarai showed up, just as devastated as her. Byakuya let them both console each other as he took the remnants away with him.

He returned to his mansion and went directly to his study, asking not to be disturbed. He gently settled the burden that he had carried in his hands and stared at it. He opened his cloak to reveal once more the bloodied material and the remains of what was once a sword.

With shaking hands, he took the cloth, its texture ruined by the dried blood, the white doing nothing but accentuating the brown of Kurosaki's dried blood. He pressed it to his nose, almost able to smell that wild scent that he had always associated with Kurosaki, but now hidden by sweat and blood.

For ten years he had carried this burden, for ten years he had lied to himself and had buried his feelings, thinking that he wouldn't need to suffer, first by Ichigo's rejection and then by his loss of him. For ten years, he had thought that would he say the words aloud, they would make him lose everything that was precious.

Because Byakuya Kuchiki knew, _oh how he knew_ , that his love for Ichigo Kurosaki was the kind that would bend universes to his will, would obliterate the world if it was encouraged. Because he had acknowledged a long time ago, that if Ichigo had matched his feelings, with the same intensity, then in such cases, the sufferance would have been unbearable, had Byakuya lost him before time. And yet, burying those feelings didn't do anything for him now, didn't diminish his anguish as he pressed his face more into that soaked in blood cloth. It didn't chase away the pain.

The fire had long been gone from Byakuya's soul, pushed out and then extinguished by the significance of his role as the heir of the Kuchiki clan, by the cruel reality of never being truly loved or desired, by responsibilities towards his clan, his grandfather, Hisana, his sister. Time and time again, he gave away pieces of his soul, buried them away until his empty shell continued living, surviving. Then Ichigo Kurosaki appeared, burning with so much righteous anger, overwhelmed by an incredible desire to protect.

He was nothing like Byakuya Kuchiki. Kurosaki was the sun and Byakuya was the moon, Kurosaki was the fire giants and Byakuya was the cold stars surrounding them, dying in its wake. Oh, how Byakuya had hated him. Every second of Kurosaki's existence had been a slight on his honor, on the life that he had chosen (or forced upon), a plague upon his heart. Even as he had almost killed him, even as he had battled with Ichigo time and time again, even as he had been mean and petty and cold and hateful, Kurosaki Ichigo had still burned so brightly. Byakuya took a deep breath and refused to bow to his heart-breaking pain. He didn't deserve to shed any tears over Ichigo, for he never had the courage to pursue anything.

Yoruichi had been the only one to realize that something was amiss at the time, however, she had the grace of not saying anything. Her words would have spilled in vain, but she still thought he deserved to be warned: _I remember how you were, kid. So full of life, so impetuous, so impulsive. And I loved every moment of our training because you were so full of life. But then, that life seemed to be stolen from you._ Her eyes smiled sadly and she dared to touch him, pressing her hand on his shoulder, squeezing lightly. _I've lost a lot of people in my life, kid, and I honestly don't want to lose you. Find a way to give your heart what it most desires. Or you will continue to live and slowly dissipate until there won't be anything left of you. This is no life to live. Your soul can't be resumed to honor and duty, kid. It has to have more. And love is the only thing that it will feed it eternally._

It was too late.

Byakuya sighed heavily, that weight constantly pressing on his chest. As always, it was too late for him. He stared back at the cloth in his hands, at the dark steel on his cloak and did what he had always done best.

He shut down completely.

*******

The following days brought no new news as the team assembled by Captain Hitsugaya continued to investigate the place in Hueco Mundo where the tragedy had taken place. Captain Hirako had to be replaced with Captain Komamura as Shinji couldn't stand to see Ichigo's blood and the devastation of the place. From his half-murmured descriptions, the captains found out that the entire area looked as the terminus point of a bomb, the energy still there taking the breath away of the lower seats. However, other than the blood and the residual spiritual energy, they were unable to discover anything new.

In the meantime, the entire Soul Society was mourning for their beloved hero. The captains grossly underestimated Ichigo's appeal and how much love and affection people held for him. It wasn't just that he was the savior of Soul Society, who almost single-handedly defeated Aizen and his lot, but also the fact that since coming to Soul Society permanently, he made an exemption from the rules.

As the leader of the Shiba clan, he had taken possession of all the properties that Kūkaku refused to deal with. Unbeknownst to everyone, Kurosaki had started by taking care of the infrastructure and the people on his new lands, especially since he inherited not only the lands that Kūkaku didn't want but also Kaien and Isshin's as well. While Ichigo ignored completely most of the traditions and obligations that a clan ruler title came with, he tried to ensure that his people could always come to him. He unheeded to other people's advice and continued to protect those on his lands and in his division. As such, almost everybody on the Shiba lands had grown infatuated with the new clan leader.

Thus it came as no surprise to Byakuya to see that the Third Division had been devastated by the loss of their Captain. Ichigo Kurosaki had been idolized and beloved - to the point of adoration - by his people and the news of his death had hit them hard. Lieutenant Kira was barely able to speak and give the necessary orders so that activities would continue within the division at a normal pace. Third Seat Ebisawa had stopped talking completely, whereas the other men and women that followed him at the time and returned too late to help their captain were hardly functional. All in all, the Third Division was worse than when captain Gin ran off to support Aizen.

However, none had taken the news of Ichigo's death harder than his sister. Accompanied by Renji, Rukia had gone to the real world to give the news to Isshin Kurosaki and the girls. Byakuya welcomed them back, knowing his sister would take the trip hard. He wasn't mistaken.

Rukia returned almost hysterical, in a state of such despair that Abarai could do nothing to calm her down, the burden of his own heartache pressing down on him. Byakuya had taken a look at both of them and had decided to take them back to the mansion foregoing resuming the duties. He rushed them back to the Kuchiki mansion and refused to let anyone disturb them.

With no news from the team sent to Hueco Mundo, everyone appeared to be frozen in a permanent state of grief and disbelief.

*******

“Taking into consideration that a week has passed with no new evidence related to the whereabouts of Captain Ichigo Kurosaki, I am going to call off the team.” Captain Yamamoto's decision was immediately greeted with gasps of consternation and exclamations of denial and betrayal. It was exceptionally loud as both lieutenants and captains were asked to be present at the current meeting.

“Is this the gratitude of Soul Society?” Captain Hirako yelled in anger. “Is this what the savior of Soul Society deserves? To be forgotten merely one week after his attack?”

“No one is forgetting anyone!” Captain Commander raised his voice. “I do believe though that a strategy must be put in place and a team to investigate thoroughly what has happened. For that, we need to create a new team formed by several members from different divisions and properly look for clues. A hastily assembled team won't do.”

“And what?” Lieutenant Abarai intervened forgetting his usual manners. “What if Ichigo is still out there, wounded, unable to contact us? Are we going to abandon him just like that?”

“At this stage, it is safe to assume that Captain Kurosaki is dead.” Captain Soi-Fon's statement was met immediately with several glares.

“Yes, of course, wouldn't you like that to be true?!” Captain Zaraki shouted. “We all know how much you disliked him. You and the princess over there!” He continued, making an obscene gesture towards Byakuya, who stiffened.

“Nobody wanted him dead,” Captain Ukitake said sounding as weary as Byakuya felt. “But at this point, although it pains my heart to say it, we have to consider there is a strong possibility that Ichigo might be dead.”

“I'd like to volunteer for this new team that you assemble,” Lieutenant Kira spoke, still standing in his usual position, refusing to touch the place where Ichigo stood mere weeks ago. His affirmation was immediately met by others similar to his.

“Very well, however, it won't be my decision to take.” Captain Yamamoto said. “Due to the importance of this investigation, Chamber 46 considered that no risks should be taken, and while they agreed to keep Captain Hitsugaya and Captain Komamura in charge of this investigation, the new team will be approved by them, and not by me.”

“That is absolutely ridiculous!” Captain Muguruma exclaimed. “They know nothing of Ichigo other than that he saved their freaking asses. And now all of a sudden they want to what? Control everything? Why couldn't they just-”

“Yo, what the hell is going on?”

The entire room was at once devoid of any air as all eyes turned to the man standing in front of the opened doors. They had frozen in such a state, it was almost comical to observe them all. The guards that were supposed to announce a new arrival were still busy gathering their jaws from the floor because among them walked now none other than Kurosaki Ichigo, Captain of the Third Division and Saviour of Soul Society.

Ichigo looked pale, even in the soft light of the day, with the rays of the sun spilling behind him as if they had missed him as well. His bright orange hair was masked by a half-assed medical dressing, brown with blood clotted around the left side. Several gashes on his right cheek gave the impression that someone had scratched him in a fit of passion. His uniform was half gone, left shoulder still bleeding even through the thick dressing, creating Byakuya's own personal hellish inkblot. However, on his back, his huge sword rested as always and, all in all, despite looking worse for wear, Captain Ichigo Kurosaki looked very much alive.

“Is anyone going to answer me?” He scowled, and something tight and hot uncoiled inside of Byakuya, suddenly pulsating through his blood.

“What the fuck, Ichigo?” Abarai yelled, his eyes bulging in disbelief, but Byakuya was safe to assume his impetuous lieutenant did speak in the name of everyone gathered in the hall.

“I should be asking that, stupid pineapple head!” Ichigo walked slowly towards the center of the room, glaring at everyone present. “I fought a fucking monster, an honest to God fucking fairy-tale monster – a vestige of Aizen's rule in Hueco Mundo, by the way. I mean who does that? Seriously, who the fuck does that? Anyway, I almost died in the process, had to hide from its fucking offsprings, I was chased half of Hueco Mundo. I couldn't open a portal until today, the fucking transceiver doesn't work—thanks for that, by the way—and instead of finding you guys desperate to get in touch with me, here you are with your fingers up your asses, while I'm bleeding everywhere in between the realms. Like, what the fuck, guys?”

“We thought you were dead, you moron!” Rukia shouted and then just smashed into him, without any regard for his wounds, hugging him tightly. Her tears of relief washed away his bleeding shoulder, a sort of twisted and silent benediction in Byakuya's eyes.

“Who the hell gave you that idea?” Ichigo mumbled, his left cheek still pressed into Rukia's bony shoulder as, suddenly, all the others made a bee-line to touch him and squeeze the life out of him. All those gestures of affection made Kurosaki shy, a bit overwhelmed.

Byakuya was frozen to the spot and he wouldn't move, even as all the others started to laugh or cry or simply hug Ichigo again in stark relief. As Shinji relayed what had happened, Ichigo blushed heavily under the weight of their happiness. And still, Byakuya wouldn't move. That tight pulsating thing spread further and further through his blood and he still wouldn't move.

Everybody forgot to ask Kurosaki about what happened, all of them seemingly content to just touch him and speak with him as if they had not seen him in a hundred years, a feeling with which for once Kuchiki had become familiar in the recent days. And Kurosaki basked in their affection and care, though a bit overwhelmed by them, because he raised his molten eyes and as soon as he caught Byakuya's eyes, he suddenly smiled in silent complicity, and for once, Kuchiki found himself answering, his own lips curling slightly without his accord.

Ichigo's eyes widened in delight and anchored himself in the peace and tranquillity that the stoic captain offered quietly. Something warm unfurled inside of Byakuya as they stood like that, looking at each other as if they were the only people in Soul Society.

It was within that moment that Byakuya Kuchiki decided to stop being a coward, face the possible embarrassment, and acknowledge that he could no longer live like that. He had to do something about Kurosaki Ichigo.

*******

Acknowledging the fact that he needed to act and actually acting on the said decision were two completely different things and in the following weeks, Byakuya found out that it was not easy to act upon sudden revelations. For starters, Ichigo Kurosaki had to give a full report about what had happened in Hueco Mundo, visit Aizen and see whether he might be able to squeeze some information about the offsprings of the monster, in a desperate attempt to find a solution to their new predicament.

Then, he had to go back to the real world and give his family the news that he wasn't dead after all, which prompted a visit from one pissed off Kurosaki Isshin, who had a few choice words for them. Most definitely, Byakuya did not want to live through _that_ again. He learned a very valuable lesson that day which mostly consisted of never mess with the righteous fury and love of a father. It was clear to him that Isshin Kurosaki would have been a redoubtable enemy on the battlefield if in the future he decided that Soul Society didn't take good care of his son.

And last but not least, Ichigo Kurosaki had not been left alone one second since coming back from the dead. All his friends, including Rukia and Abarai, were constantly present within the premises of Third Division barracks. At home, he was met with love from his servants and the people on his lands. It was safe to assume at that point that Ichigo Kurosaki's attention was solely focused on his dear ones, thus offering Byakuya the chance to stall taking any steps in the direction that he wanted to go. He found numerous excuses for himself to shirk from doing what was right. On the other hand, that side of him that thought that sooner or later, Kurosaki would prove that he had never had any real feelings towards him would win. And it was that very conviction that made him act about a month later, unable to cope with the anxiety of his own doubts.

Kurosaki was honorable enough not to laugh at his expense or talk about the incident, should it come down to a rejection. There was nothing to lose other than a bit of face and perhaps some respect from Ichigo's part. But there was everything to gain and he was willing to take the risk. The sole remembrance of what it felt to have lost Ichigo was enough to tip the scale over and to spur him into action.

Therefore, about a month later after Kurosaki's miraculous return from the dead, Byakuya found Ichigo buried under tons of paper inside his office at the division headquarters. His orange spikes were more unruly than ever, still tinged with the light of the sun enveloping him from behind, creating that almost palpable halo around his head. He seemed healthy and, Byakuya cringed inside, but admitted to himself that Ichigo looked most beautiful too. His new uniform showcased his strong arms, as Kurosaki opted to change the design and wear both the uniform and the captain cloak sleeveless. The new shiny and black tattoos spread around his arms like protective snakes, their pattern as mysterious as Ichigo's essence. His tanned skin encouraged the idea that Ichigo was spending as much time as possible outside of his office. The scars left by the battle were all but gone and in spite of ditching the classical design of the uniform and receiving some new tattoos, Ichigo Kurosaki was pretty much the same, his permanent frown when faced with paperwork still present on his forehead and his scowl just the same.

It was refreshing and soothing for Byakuya, who had little control over the changes in his life in the last few decades.

“Good morning, Captain Kurosaki,” he finally announced his presence, and Ichigo raised his eyes in surprise before smiling mischievously in response.

“Yo, Byakuya!”

“I wish I could say I am amazed by your appalling manner of greeting, however, I am not.” His tone was a little friendlier than usual, which didn't escape Ichigo, who immediately broadened his smile.

“I guess at this point you wouldn't be.” He gestured towards the chair in front of his desk. “Please, take a load off. I beg you, tell me that you came for any other reason than being in need of some paperwork from me.”

“I came for another matter indeed.” Ichigo's entire body relaxed instantly upon hearing Byakuya's calm voice. “Though it did not escape me that you are surrounded by a tremendous amount of paperwork.”

“I know, right?” Ichigo rolled his eyes, then scowled for good measure at the documents and forms in disarray on his desk. His gestures were so familiar to Byakuya, he had to fist his hands and push his nails into his flesh to stop himself from just reaching over and pat Ichigo's wild hair. “You would think that being presumed dead would help me a little with the amount of paperwork and forms that I'd need to fill in, but no, it actually made the situation worse.”

“I presume Chamber 46 wanted a full report about what has occurred?”

“You presume correctly. A full report typed in three samples. Also, they want to have a formal meeting with me to relay again the events that occurred in Hueco Mundo. I mean, how many goddamn times do they need to hear the same fucking story?” Ichigo carded his fingers through his hair and Byakuya's need to ruffle it increased tenfold. “Anyway, I'm sure you didn't come here just so you listen to me complaining about freaking reports. What can I do for you?”

“I came to bring you something.” Byakuya relaxed his hands enough to reveal the precious burden that he had carried with him. He unwrapped the cloth to reveal Ichigo's bloodied cloak and the hilt of his previous sword. Even now, the black hilt was unworldly, just like its master.

Byakuya placed the bundle on the young captain's desk and leaned back. To his surprise, Ichigo reached for the hilt of the sword and gently pressed his fingers on it. For the first time, his face seemed unreadable.

“You had this with you the whole time?”

“I thought that it was the honorable thing to do.” Byakuya struggled to keep his voice soft and even. “At the time, your friends were very much affected by the news of your presumed death, and they did not think of taking care of this. I preserved them, knowing that later on, they might want any memories from you. However, that is not necessary anymore.”

“Thank you,” Ichigo replied simply and finally his fingers tightened around the broken hilt. “At the time, I thought I was done for. But instead of my life flashing before my eyes, all I could think of was...” He raised his deep brown eyes towards Byakuya, then shook his head. Vibrant color sparkled with such a strong emotion, it made Byakuya dizzy with its mesmerizing strength. “It doesn't matter. Thank you for taking care of it.”

“It was an honor,” Byakuya said, startling Ichigo. So sincere, his molten eyes looked back at Byakuya, naked affection mirrored in them. Full acceptance too, as if a long time ago Ichigo came to the conclusion that Byakuya Kuchiki was a mystery better left unexplained for its charm derived from it. For if there had been one thing safe to assume, it had been the fact that Ichigo Kurosaki had never intended to change him, he had simply acted and done it, almost unwillingly. That was Kurosaki's major strength, the critical one that had shaken and rebuild the very foundations of Soul Society.

For a rare second, Byakuya Kuchiki felt incredibly lucky to have developed feelings for such an uncanny being.

“You are a weird one, Byakuya, did anyone tell you that?” Kurosaki startled him as he smiled ruefully. “Here we are: from me calling you a monster, to you telling me that I don't belong here, to you guarding the remnants of what was once my sword, and me thanking you for it. I'd say we came a long way.”

“We did,” Byakuya nodded and a comfortable silence settled upon them like a shield. “However, I'd like to add something,” he said after a while, making that affectionate smile reappear again on Ichigo's full lips.

“Oh man, I was afraid you might say that. I knew this was coming. Come on! Tell me what I did wrong this time.”

The words hit a nerve, though they were warranted. They made Byakuya think about all those moments when he criticized Ichigo and the selfish things that he had told him. What Byakuya had hated the most about his upbringing was the way its consequences had hit the hardest the people around him, he hated the way his grandfather and other educators had taken him and twisted him into this cold man, the damage done spilling out of him, almost contagious in its far-reaching ends. He had almost killed his sister and ruined Abarai's life. He had almost killed this man sitting in front of him, their only chance of survival. The only person in this cursed universe that could prevail over the emotional slaughter, which Byakuya had undergone.

“I want to court you,” Byakuya blurted as Ichigo's sharp inhale resonated throughout the room.

"Court me?" Ichigo said, at last, a wistful smile playing on his lips. Worlds must have crumbled in between those moments of silence. "But you don't even like me, Byakuya."

"That is not true."

"Isn't it? It wasn't that long ago that you told me I didn't belong in Soul Society. Hell, even just now, I thought you were going to give me a lecture about one thing or another." Ichigo ruffled his own hair despondently, pulling a little harder on the already abused strands, his face opened like a gaping wound. "You can't just come in here and demand suddenly that I let you court me when you never expressed any other feelings towards me other than genuine disapproval."

"Yet here I am, demanding," Byakuya swallowed hard upon seeing Ichigo's eyes narrow, " _asking_ you to let me court you."

"Why? Why now?" Ichigo asked incredulously.

"May I ask something first?" Seeing Kurosaki nodding, Byakuya continued in a much gentler voice than he had ever used in his conversations with the young captain. "Would it be right for my part to assume that you aren't objecting to my courting as a man, you are objecting because you don't believe that my feelings are genuine?"

"Seriously?" Ichigo rolled his eyes so hard Byakuya was afraid he might have sprained them. "Fucking hell, Byakuya, you can be so goddamn dense sometimes. I've liked you for so long, it's not even funny anymore. Do whatever you wish with this information."

It was Byakuya's turn to be stunned into silence. How had he miscomprehended so many things in his life? He thought that after the news of Ichigo's presumed death, nothing could hurt him more. He was severely mistaken. Ichigo's confession combined with his hurt eyes twisted Byakuya's heart to a painful extent. Bile and self-disgust mixed into a powerful concoction of self-hatred. There he was, thinking that he had done what was best for both of them. Most importantly, he had thought that his feelings were one-sided.

Why couldn't he just accept the fact that when it came to Ichigo Kurosaki, he would always so damn wrong?

"I wasn't aware of that," Byakuya hurried to answer when he saw Ichigo's face fall, his eyes slowly dulling every emotion so easily displayed before.

"Of course you weren't," Ichigo said plainly and leaned back. "I knew from the very beginning that my feelings weren't going to be welcomed. So I fought hard against them. But I'm so damn tired to hide them, even if it means to be hurt by you." Ichigo's eyes narrowed reproachfully. "And now on the spur of the moment, you decided that you want to court me? Because you have feelings for me? And you want me to believe you?"

"I want you to believe me as I have always been honest with you, Ichigo. I may have been rude or aggressive, but I have never lied to you." His use of Kurosaki's first name more than anything spurred the young man to continue listening though he was far from being pleased about it.

"Then why now?" Ichigo seemed so exhausted that Byakuya hated himself just a little more.

"I wish I could give you a reason other than the fact that I thought you were dead and it hurt more than I have ever thought something would. Ever. But I don't have one." He grabbed fistfuls of his uniform and squeezed the material hard. “I assume I am culpable for everything you said. However, I'd like to say something in my defense." When Ichigo shook his head, Byakuya carried on, "My heritage, the way I was raised and taught to live my life has been profoundly different than yours. More specifically, I was taught that feelings don't matter much and that I should smother them before they get a hold of me. This manner of living lasted decades. Literally. There is no easy way for me to try and do this the casual way."

"But you want to,” Ichigo said gently.

"Yes."

"But what about Lady Hisana? I thought you loved her."

"My story with Hisana is a completely different thing, and I do not wish to speak about it now." Byakuya struggled to maintain a modicum of calm, for Hisana was still a raw wound, filled with puss, far from healing. Nonetheless, he must have allowed some of his affection for Ichigo show because the young man startled and blushed slightly. "Apart from my upbringing, there is also the matter of age."

"Of age?"

"I am most likely over one hundred years older than you."

"Perhaps, but you have the emotional maturity of a teenager." Ichigo scowled at him, blushing furiously. "Look, I did think about all of this, Byakuya. I did think about all the differences that separate us. However, none of this mattered to me. You have to bear in mind I'm not the same kid you met. I'll never be that boy again. So give me the credit for being able to take my own decisions."

"Very well." Byakuya relaxed his hands. "Then you need to allow me to do the same. I am also tired of hiding. My feelings have not changed either, and I genuinely do want to court you," he added as an afterthought, as if already afraid of the answer, "Naturally if you allow me."

Ichigo smiled softly, "Permission granted."

"Thank you." Byakuya relaxed slightly.

"You do realize that I'll be a brat and ask you about this courting of yours and what it would entitle." Ichigo was back at smiling playfully.

"That is for me to decide, and for you to find out."

Ichigo laughed happily, a shy curl of lips blooming on Byakuya's lips in response.

*******

Nothing was easy in love and war, and the next few days seemed keen to prove this saying true, because as soon as Byakuya made the plan to start wooing Ichigo, naturally things didn't progress as per his expectations. First, Ichigo was whisked away by Chamber 46 for a secret meeting held in relation to the events in Hueco Mundo. Then he had to help with the investigation as the Twelfth Division needed to devise a plan to future combat the new entity or whatever remained of it. Last but not least, everyone wanted to be with him. Constantly. As if he might just disappear into thin air.

Byakuya understood their compulsion, he really did, but still, he was angered by their insistence on never leaving him alone. Now that he had the certainty that Ichigo responded to his feelings, that he wasn't alone, his patience was wearing thin. Suddenly, he found himself in a position where he invariably craved to be in the young man's presence. And, judging by the longing looks that Ichigo threw his way, it was clear that the bright captain wished the same. Frustration was not a familiar feeling for the Kuchiki heir, but by the Soul King, he was becoming annoyingly acquainted with it.

Kurosaki was training with the new recruits when Byakuya arrived at the barracks of the Third Division. His simple plan was to invite Ichigo to lunch. However, the scene unraveling before him left him speechless, not an easy feat. Unbeknownst to the others, he remained silent, contemplating Kurosaki's moves as Ichigo scowled and showed different tactics to his recruits.

One of the reasons why Kurosaki had always had the upper hand with his enemies was because most of them, including Byakuya, had underestimated Ichigo and his resilience. It was easy to think that Ichigo was more brawn than brains, for his strikes and attacks lacked the elegance and refinery that sword fight inherently presupposed. Even now, as he twisted and flash-stepped, avoiding a recruit hitting him, his strikes were like a hammer, his spiritual energy better contained but still just as stifling.

Even so, a hammer would be just that: a powerful tool ready to crush enemies, provided that it would be wielded as it should. And Ichigo was a refined warrior, but a warrior nonetheless. It was mesmerizing to watch him move when his force and spiritual pressure were not directed against Byakuya. By his very nature, Ichigo was a protector and he had honed that power over the years for this very purpose. The fluidity of the movements, the almost elegant way in which he moved, despite the force behind his onslaughts, and the certainty with which he wielded his sword – as if he was born to do it – made out of Ichigo an almost perfect warrior, tainted only by his inborn instinct to protect.

Not to mention that Ichigo was clearly a handsome man. He had grown up in the recent years, a little bit more mature, his shoulder widening, his hair a bit unrulier, but still brightly orange. His tanned skin showcased his strong arms, biceps slightly bulging with each hit, the dark uniform only highlighting all the more his athletic body. Desire coursed through Byakuya's veins sudden and molten, his hands twitching slightly in an abandoned attempt to touch all those perfect miles of touched-starved skin. The strength of his desire was so strong he had to clear his voice, thus attracting attention towards him.

Kurosaki stopped abruptly in the middle of an ongoing onslaught towards two of his recruits and looked down, his face alight with delight.

“Yo, Byakuya!”

Byakuya didn't imagine the groans that the others released upon hearing their captain being so rude with the Captain of the Sixth Division. From the corner of his eyes, he could see the way some of them had cowered in fear, afraid already of the consequences that such a familiar greeting might have. Others moaned in distaste, knowing that Captain Kuchiki had no sense of humor and that he wouldn't be able to acknowledge such a greeting as a sign of simple familiarity. Byakuya was almost dismayed as he suddenly realized that a lot of people wouldn't be happy to find out that he and Ichigo had embarked on a tentative relationship. However, judging by the same dismay, he realized he didn't care. At all.

“Captain Kurosaki! Uncivilized as usual, I see,” he answered, keeping his voice level, but releasing a bit of his spiritual energy to make the ones present a little weary. Byakuya might have been nicknamed the Icy Prince, but that didn't mean he couldn't still be a brat when he wanted. Sensing his energy, Ichigo grinned all the more cheekily. “There are some matters that I need to discuss with you if you are done playing.”

Ichigo's eyes turned all the more ravenous, for some unknown reason, “I'll be there in a second. Go and make yourself comfortable in my office. I just need to give my new recruits some instructions.”

“I think they need more than a few instructions, from what I could observe so far.” This time he really didn't imagine the heated glares and the spikes in the spiritual pressures around him, but they were all calmed in a moment when Ichigo simply laughed it off:

“I'll bet you won't say that about them in a month or two.”

Byakuya simply nodded refusing to engage in a line war with Ichigo. He knew from experience that it could continue for several days and at the moment he could hardly concentrate on his desire still boiling inside his veins.

Ichigo's office was surprisingly warm and organized, very well lit. His captain cloak was resting on his desk chair and the curtains fluttered in the light breeze. It took Ichigo less than ten minutes to join Byakuya, a towel in his hands as he tried to dry his perspiration. His spiked hair was in disarray and his uniform rumpled and Byakuya's heart broke. Completely.

“Fuck, you are beautiful!” He managed to say as he reached for the young man, having abandoned completely his usual stoicism. Byakuya didn't know whether it was the expletive or the rawness of the confession, but Ichigo was pliant in his arms. He let go of the towel and put his arms around Byakuya's shoulders, as Kuchiki jerked him closer to his chest. Ichigo's body was still unbelievably warm, due to the rush of the training, that astounding power coiled just under the surface and Byakuya had the privilege to touch. It made Byakuya light-headed, the desire to touch the young man everywhere suddenly overwhelming.

He leaned forward, resting his forehead against Ichigo's shoulder and inhaled deeply. Kurosaki still smelled of blood, steel and that sizzling pressure of his spiritual energy, but underneath it all, the wild scent which was uniquely Ichigo.

“You are so beautiful, you break my heart every time I see you,” he muttered in that blessed skin, his lips a silent benediction and Ichigo moaned demanding. That sole sound awoke something in Byakuya, something that he had thought long dead for he raised his head and stared back into Ichigo's liquid eyes.

“I'm going to kiss you now,” Byakuya's gravelly voice must have been indication enough of his terrible want, because Ichigo simply nodded in response, giving all the consent that Byakuya needed.

He leaned slowly, still giving Ichigo enough time to change his mind in case he wanted to do so, before kissing him at last. That moment when he met Ichigo's pliant and soft lips would stick to his memory forever, because Byakuya kissed Ichigo tenderly, unhurried, as the young man kissed back with enthusiasm and a certain kind of clumsiness that was a great indicative of not having a lot of experience. Had he been kissing anyone else, maybe Byakuya would have been grateful for the fact that Ichigo seemed to have little experience, though a lot of enthusiasm. However, the understanding hit him hard because it showed after all how very few people could gain Ichigo's trust, or how many he must have refused, knowing he had feelings for another man.

Any other thought though disappeared from his mind as soon as Ichigo bit his lower lip, making Byakuya pressing his body even closer to the younger one and deepening the kiss with all the need of the touch-starved. Ichigo gripped tighter his uniform, grabbing fistfuls of the captain cloak as he responded to the kiss, making breathy noises. They were the most delicious thing that Byakuya had heard in all his wretched life.

When they finally fell apart because of a rather profound need for air, Byakuya was finally able to admit that if he were to die in the near future, he would happily do it, knowing now how beautiful Ichigo truly looked with famished eyes, half-lidded in desire, kiss-bruised lips, and orange spikes disobedient as always.

*******

The luscious smell of old books and ancient paper surrounded them and for some odd reason, Byakuya wanted to whisper within the confines of this room. There was so much history surrounding them, so much spiritual energy long forgotten, withered away just like the people that had once touched all those things that surrounded them. The room had been specially designed back in the old days to preserve historical artifacts and documents, and to ensure that they could be easily accessible at any point, should the necessity arise.

Ichigo's presence here had been unpremeditated. They were supposed to meet for lunch again, but Captain Commander had asked Byakuya to retrieve some documents that apparently were required by the Twelfth Division. The search for the afore-mentioned documents meant that he had to miss his date with Ichigo, but luckily the young captain decided to join him in his search.

Byakuya found peculiar to have company in that room. Not even Rukia had dared to request for permission to access it, and she had always seemed less than inclined to know much about the Kuchiki history, despite the fact that one day she might be the clan’s heir. Not that Ichigo had requested permission. He had advised Byakuya that he was going to accompany him, and that was that. There was no doubt in Byakuya's mind that even if Ichigo had requested, he would have gladly given it, despite Ichigo belonging to another clan. The young man was honorable to a fault, and there was a genuine honesty that he couldn't shake.

“So these are most of your ancestors?” Ichigo asked reverently, as he brushed his fingers against some of the old paintings in the archive room.

“Yes,” Byakuya replied softly.

“Wow! This is amazing!” Ichigo said, enthusiasm abounding, as he saw the documents saved during the time of Byakuya's grandfather. “All these documents kept safe here—it's like time itself is preserved in this very room.” Ichigo's eyes widened in delight as Byakuya took out the scrolls and let him have a look.

“I am confident that the Shiba clan has a room like this. Most of the important clans in Soul Society are required to possess such an archive.”

“Yeah,” Ichigo nodded, “but it's nothing like this one. Well, not yet anyway. Kūkaku hasn't bothered much with this after my dad left and Kaien died. So at the moment, I have some people dealing with it and trying to rebuild it. It may take some time as it is very difficult to gather all those documents and artifacts displaced, but I think it will come to fruition sooner or later.” He focused his attention on Byakuya again. “After all, we have plenty of time, right?”

“Yes, that's true.”

“Is this where you have to shelter the documents from your time?” Ichigo asked as he waved towards an adjacent part of the room with far fewer artifacts and scrolls than the rest.

“Yes, I am entrusted with the legacy of my people.” Byakuya stared at the half-empty wall. “I hope that one day I will be able to record my own history here, far from the influences of the council, to show that as a clan we are stronger and more resilient when we bring fresh blood within the line.”

“Are you talking about Rukia?” Ichigo kept his tone soft.

“Yes.” Byakuya shook his head slightly then looked back at Ichigo. “Some of the councilmen still take great offense of having Rukia as part of the family, although she had brought great honor to our clan and during the winter War she had been one of the most praised warriors. I am certain that soon she will become captain, maybe even the guard of the Soul King himself. However, even if she wouldn't accomplish all that, she is still a valuable asset for the clan.”

“While I don't like you comparing your sister to an asset, I know what you are talking about.” Ichigo reached for Byakuya's cheek and gently caressed it. “But you've come a long way. In spite of you talking about honor and duty to your clan, sometimes I think you take great pleasure in disobeying their rules.”

“I am sure that I don't know what you are talking about.” The faintest of smiles blossomed on Byakuya's lips, as fragile as the wings of a butterfly, and he tenderly covered Ichigo's hand with his. An endearing smile was the quick response to his gesture before the young man pressed their lips together in the loveliest of kisses.

Byakuya didn’t wish to ruin the mood by telling Ichigo that his councilmen would more than gladly approve of their relationship, should they make it official. Not only for the political capital that Ichigo would bring as the savior of Soul Society and one of the most powerful shinigami, but also for the economic capital as well. Though the Shiba lands were still in reconstruction, Byakuya had no doubt that Ichigo was more than capable to bring them back to their former glory and the councilmen would count on that. Byakuya wouldn't be troubled by their so-easy acceptance if they would do so for the right reasons.

“You are a distraction,” Byakuya mumbled as he hugged the younger man. “Let us find the documents so we can go and have lunch.”

“Well, I'm sure I don't know what you're talking about,” Ichigo parroted back, before kissing Byakuya one more time and letting him go. “Fine, let’s find those documents. I'm starving.”

As they looked through dusty scrolls and fragile documents, Byakuya smiled to himself. No matter what decision the councilmen might reach, he would fight for Ichigo and his happiness. This time, the politics of being the heir of such an important clan would fall behind his duty towards his beloved.

*******

Two months since they started dating and almost three since Ichigo was presumed dead and Byakuya Kuchiki found himself wondering whether he should make his courtship official in the near future. While 'future' was the keyword, Byakuya couldn't help but wonder about the official status of their relationship. Everything was progressing at steady though slow pace, a pace that suited both of them just fine: Ichigo because he did have a lack of experience in the romantic area, and Byakuya because he wanted to do everything within his power to make Ichigo comfortable with their relationship. But, sooner or later, he would like to make his claim official. The objections that he would have to confront would not be easy to overcome.

He stared at the paperwork in front of him, trying to find a solution to the current predicament only for his door to be opened and shut abruptly, a flushed Kurosaki flopping almost immediately at Abarai's desk, currently unoccupied.

So sudden was the entrance that Byakuya showed little reaction to it, other than raising an eyebrow in silent question.

“If anyone asks about me, tell them I've joined the circus and moved to the moon!” Ichigo scowled at the stack of paperwork he had just deposited on the wooden desk. His annoyed blush did nothing to hide though how handsome he looked at the moment. His uniform was in disarray and his captain cloak was half fallen on his shoulders. His fair skin was pinkish, and Byakuya wanted to taste every pore with his tongue and nip at it until everyone would know that Ichigo Kurosaki belonged to him.

It clearly looked like Ichigo had had a bad morning.

“What happened?” Byakuya asked calmly, albeit a bit hoarse.

“Stupid Kenpachi follows me around. This is the third time this week he wanted to fight me. Third! Others bake me all sorts of things and others want to pet me.” Ichigo scowled. “I'm not a fucking child, and while I understand that they just want to show their affection, I'd like everything to return back to normal. Even my fucking troops are too goddamn perfect. Did you know I didn't have to yell at them once this week? Everyone shows on time, the recruits are training as per schedule and making progress, the barracks are spotless, and all the paperwork that doesn't need my input is up to date. Who the hell does that?” Ichigo took a breather and sighed heavily. He leaned back and closed his eyes in an attempt to calm down.

“So let me understand your situation: you complain about the fact that your troops are actually doing what you ordered them to?”

“I want a little bit of dirt, Byakuya.” Ichigo squinted in his direction but kept his relaxed position. “I want to yell at someone without them actually flinching or looking like I might disappear the next second. It's not too much to ask, is it?”

“I see. And you came to my office because?” He let the question float around them, not knowing what to hope for yet.

“Well, they sure as hell won't bother me here,” Ichigo smirked impishly. “I can't wait to see Shinji's face when he finds out that he needs to come here to bring me the forms.”

“I am glad to see that you have decided to take over my office, without my approval I might add, and embroil me in participating in your childish games.” It was a bit difficult to keep his tone grave and serious when Ichigo smiled gently at him like that.

“Well, that and I missed you,” he blurted then groaned. “Great, now I sound all mushy too, and-”

“I missed you too,” Byakuya told him quickly before he lost the courage to do so. Being so opened was terrifying. Ichigo's beautiful eyes immediately filled with much affection.

“Yeah?”

“Yes.”

His own treacherous stomach trembled with the swirl of a thousand cherry petals as Ichigo stood up from Abarai's desk and strode to Byakuya's desk, a mesmerizing predatory smirk playing on his lips. Without any ceremony or question, Ichigo settled on Byakuya's lap, clever fingers taking hold of his hair, ignoring completely the noble hairpiece. Ichigo's fingers pulled a little tighter at the hair, jerking Byakuya back a little, forcing him to look up. And the sight that welcomed him was epic. Because Ichigo was staring back, his leery smirk melting in a sort of wonder so ravenous Byakuya no longer found himself capable of resisting and met Ichigo's lips in a bruising kiss.

Without giving him the chance to even breathe, it felt as if Byakuya was holding Ichigo prisoner to his desire. He licked inside of Ichigo's mouth, chasing the sweetest taste, a flavor that belonged entirely to his younger lover. Byakuya's hands settled on Ichigo's hips, pulling him a little closer as the young man let go of Byakuya's strands and embraced his shoulders, the rough material of his uniform doing little to cover his desire. Having such power over such an extraordinary being as Ichigo Kurosaki made Byakuya feeling light weighted. He grasped at Ichigo's hips tighter and nipped his lips, holding him firm, kissing him steady and passionate, thus staking his claim irrevocably over the young man.

A soft whimper of pure desire escaped Ichigo's lips and Byakuya's only response was to kiss harder, pulling him flush against his body. Ichigo's weight was the most delicious burden Byakuya had ever thought of having, the young man so responsive to their kissing, to his caresses. Lost to the pleasure of making out with Byakuya, Ichigo was making the most delightful sounds that Byakuya was most happy to taste.

The air crackled with the intensity of their mutual desire. Seconds spread into infinity and nothing else existed, except for Ichigo's lips, his gentle hands into Byakuya's hair, warm body flushed against his own.

Suddenly, Byakuya stood up, forcing Ichigo to slow down their kisses. But there was much to be said about their mutual attraction when Kuchiki simply proceeded to lift Ichigo up, strong hands under his thighs, and moved him closer to his windows, the wall that separated the windows a good as any place to lean against.

"Byakuya," Ichigo whispered, but Kuchiki simply kissed his own name off his beloved's lips. He kissed and kissed and kissed until Ichigo moaned in delight and spilled between the two of them, followed by Byakuya.

They kissed despite their bruised lips and short breath. Despite their hungry touches and over-sensitive skin. Enveloped in sunshine and warmth. Gentle fingers mapped Byakuya's features with such care and (dared he say it?) love that nothing else

Byakuya said, "You should always be loved in the sunshine."

He said, "You make me feel again."

He said, "Ichigo."

A broken sob whispered into his beloved's neck, a silent prayer for benediction. Byakuya's own heart soared and sang its rebirth.

*******

“Brother, are you all right?” Rukia's gentle voice brought Byakuya back to reality and he looked up from his dinner.

“I apologize. I am not myself tonight,” he replied, at last, pushing away the plate in front of him and wishing he could stop worrying about things.

“Please, don't apologize,” Rukia was quick to reassure. “Is there anything I could help you with?”

“I am not sure.” Byakuya remained silent for several minutes, the noises of the night enveloping them. The dim light of the torches burning in the garden sent fairy-tale light around the trees, making Byakuya believe if only just a moment that everything might turn up all right. “I have started to court someone in the recent months.”

His words were as shocking for him as they were for his sister, her small hand brought quickly to her mouth trying to stifle the surprised noise that escaped her lips. He could feel his eyes slightly widening in shock, but he refused to have his composure broken and just looked at her with a slight defiant air as if she would say something against it.

There was still much to learn about himself and his sister.

“It is my turn to apologize,” she said kindly at last and smiled affectionately. “I am just not accustomed to your openness. But let me express my sincere happiness to hear that you moved away from my sister's memory and that you are finally able to see someone else.” She folded her hands on the table and looked at him with far more courage than Byakuya could hope for at the moment. “However, it seems that you are not content. Has something happened? Has this person dared to taint your honor?”

“Your protectiveness is much appreciated, Rukia, however, it is not necessary,” Byakuya's voice kept the tone soft so as to make his sister understand that by any means it was not a rebuke. “This person is more than worthy of my affection and his honor is unmeasurable.”

“His? Is it a man you are courting?” Rukia couldn't hide her surprise. “Please, forgive me. It seems that tonight I am incapable of keeping away my foot from my mouth.”

“No, I should apologize-”

“I think we should stop apologizing at this point.” Her clear smile smoothed the tiredness from his soul. “If we are to continue like this, we might never finish this conversation.”

“That is true.” Byakuya nodded. “What I wanted to add was that I shouldn't be astonished by your lack of knowledge. I have been less than upfront with you and I shouldn't expect you to know so many things about me.”

“Well, I did astonish you with my choice of men, when it was Renji that came to ask for permission to court me rather than Ichigo,” Rukia laughed softly. “Therefore it is only right that you should do the same. I am almost sorry that it is you courting this man and not the other way around because I would have liked to play the role of a sister for once in official capabilities.”

“I am sure you will still have the chance if everything works out as it should.”

“That is your concern? That the councilmen might not approve of him?”

“Oh, I am sure that this man would meet even their toughest demands. Upon even the harshest analysis, he wouldn't be found lacking. Maybe I would be found lacking compared to him.”

“You? Never, brother, rest assured of that!”

“You speak highly of me because I am your brother, however-” Byakuya stopped again, suddenly exhausted of hiding and taking a sharp breath, he looked into his sister's eyes and continue “-however, you know that Ichigo Kurosaki is far beyond my reach.”

It was the second time within minutes that Byakuya left his sister flabbergasted and it took her several minutes to compose herself.

“I am speechless. Forgive me,” she muttered and yet her eyes were blazing with righteous fury. What came next astounded no one in the room. “You will not hurt him, brother, for he has suffered enough,” she said as decisive as a captain on a battlefield. “He is the gentlest of the souls and if you are not committed to this in the slightest if you have any doubts, then, by all means, end it now before it is too late. Ichigo is-”

“Amazing, captivating, kind and generous,” Byakuya enumerated almost mockingly, but both of them were aware of the reality. “Honorable to a fault, protective and stubborn. Barbaric in manners and appalling in restraining that rampant spiritual energy. He shines like the sun and basking in his light is like atoning for the worst of sins.”

“And you love him,” she said her voice almost a whisper. “How long have you been harboring feelings for him?”

“I would say almost from the time we met, but consciously I became aware of it halfway through the Winter War.”

“That long? And does he share your feelings?”

“Yes.”

“How long has this courtship been going on for?”

“About half a year now.”

“Oh for crying out loud, how come we didn't see anything?” Rukia spluttered. “It's like the blind following the clueless.”

“We were discreet and everyone minds their own little world.” Byakuya allowed his lips to curl into a soft smile. “And while Ichigo is not exactly the most silent of people, he does care about me and my well-being, and I requested his discretion, which he was most happy to give.”

“But why?” Rukia seemed to struggle to comprehend his reluctance in making his relationship official.

“If you, who are my sister, reacted the way you did when you found out that I was dating Ichigo, how are others going to react?” Byakuya regretted almost immediately his harshness but couldn't stop now, months of doubts suddenly erupting: “Do you think people will be pleased that Ichigo Kurosaki, the sun, and moon of Soul Society, the pillar of their freedom and the bastion of their affection is in a relationship with Byakuya Kuchiki, the iceberg, the captain that almost executed his own sister, that almost murdered his own lieutenant? Do you think they might have forgotten that I was the one that attacked Ichigo Kurosaki relentlessly, telling him he's not good enough, he doesn't belong here?”

“Yes, they may be naysayers,” Rukia answered determined, “but when they see that you make Ichigo happy, that it is you that he wants, they will all back off. Are you that concerned about your public image?”

“I am not concerned about me, sister, I am concerned about Ichigo.”

“You shouldn't be,” Rukia replied bluntly. “You forget you talk about the most stubborn man I have ever met, more stubborn than even you. If he loves you, and I am sure he does if he accepted you to court him, then he will go to hell or high water for you. He will not back down just because some won't like who he is dating.”

“I don't want to hurt him,” Byakuya confessed into the night.

“You won't. But you have to go and do the right thing by him.”

“Which is?”

“Before going public, I think you need to speak with Isshin Kurosaki and Ichigo's sisters as well. Ask for their permission, beg and be humble if you have to. If you have their support, if they will see the sincerity of your feelings as I see it now, then you won't have to care about the rest of the Soul Society. They will accept you much easier if you have their support, for their support will be given as loud and as obnoxious as possible. And you will make Ichigo happy as well.”

“Do you believe so?”

“I know so.” Rukia jutted her chin stubbornly. “I am your younger sister, but in all matters related to Ichigo, until recently, I would say I was the expert.” She suddenly grinned mischievously. “And you have to let the bastard know that I want an official request from his part, as well. Don't think he will get off that easy.”

“Rukia?”

“Yes?”

“I am glad you are my sister.”

The sudden blush that covered his sister's face was well worth the embarrassment that the confession caused.

*******

“Based on the Twelfth Division findings and their success in applying them, I would say that the weapon is effective in 99% of cases,” Captain Yamamoto concluded. “As such, I will formally request Chamber 46 for a new team to be instated with full permission to go back to Hueco Mundo and eliminate the remaining entities that the force attacking Captain Kurosaki had spawned. Any volunteers to lead this team?”

“I will gladly volunteer, Captain, if only to see this mission to its end,” Ichigo said defiant, waiting for some other captain try and steal his place.

“No!” The broken but very much resolute objection escaped Byakuya's lips before he could control himself. None of the other captains were surprised, some of them rolling their eyes, others waiting patiently for his explanation. But Ichigo was nearly immediately angry.

“What the hell, Byakuya?” His beautiful eyes were angered and hurt, and Byakuya was quick to answer.

“Based on the report that the Twelfth Division submitted to us all, it is clear that the entities feed off the spiritual energy that is not very well contained. Unless you suddenly became an expert at suppressing your spiritual energy instead of letting it flow freely, then I would suggest that the choice should obviously be Captain Hitsugaya or myself.”

“I am more than happy to oblige,” Toushirou said before Ichigo could further protest. “I agree with Kuchiki's suggestion. However, I consider I am better for this mission as I am by now familiar with the particular area. Also at the time, I came to engage them in battle.” Hitsugaya didn't have to mention which time he was discussing, as all to well they remembered that desperate week.”

“Well, I think that I should go!” Ichigo pushed but everyone seemed determined to keep him away from that area.

“Your objections are duly noted, Captain Kurosaki,” Captain Commander said, “but I happen to agree with Captain Hitsugaya and Captain Kuchiki. It is, therefore, decided that Captain Hitsugaya will lead the recommended investigation team. This team shall comprise members from both the Twelfth and Ten Division. All in favor?” All the captains raised their hands, except Ichigo, who glowered at Byakuya. “Twelve votes for, one against. Motion approved. I will discuss with Chamber 46 and inform you all of the outcomes. Meeting adjourned!”

Fuming with repressed rage, Ichigo followed Byakuya to the headquarters of the Sixth Division and, as soon as they closed the doors, Ichigo exploded.

“Just because you fuck me, it doesn't mean you can control me! You aren't my owner, and you aren't my babysitter. Just because we are in a relationship, it doesn't mean that I will stop suddenly be a captain. I have my duties and I won't neglect them!”

“To use a parlance with which you are apparently familiar, I am not under the misapprehension that by fucking you, I am in possession of every right to control you,” Byakuya seethed, for only Ichigo had always managed to bring the rawest emotions in him to the surface. “Perhaps you have this issue. If you do not succeed in making the difference between my concern for your well-being, which I admit that initial no was all about, and my sincere objections for the well-being of the mission, then, by all means, Kurosaki, we should stop everything right now. I do not wish to carry this conversation every time we have opposing views in the meeting hall.”

The air cracked and sizzled with tension before Ichigo deflated completely and flopped on the chair in front of Byakuya's desk. His despondent air took the fight out from Byakuya and he also took a seat, breathing harshly.

“I am sorry,” Ichigo muttered like a sweet act of contrition, and Byakuya couldn't resist. Before he realized what he was doing, he knelt in front of Ichigo and hugged his knees, looking up into wine-like eyes. His beloved reached for Byakuya with callous but gentle fingers, one hand resting on his shoulder, the other on his cheek, eyes liquid fire and burning everything into a sweet surrender. “Please, forgive me,” the whisper harsher than he intended.

“I forgive you, just as you should forgive me for that no,” Byakuya muttered in return, as Ichigo's thumb drew smooth circles on his cheek. “I do respect you, my beloved. As a captain and as a leader. And I would never do anything to compromise that. But I will speak the truth when it should be spoken.”

“Yes, you should.” Ichigo squeezed his shoulder. “I behaved like a brat. I won't lie, it may take me some time to get used to. But I'll try my best. The only thing that I ask of you is to be patient with me.”

“I promise.”

“Now say that word again,” Ichigo asked with reverent fervor burning through his words. Byakuya closed his eyes against the onslaught of the sentiment. For decades, if not more, his emotions had been kept locked up, buried completely. And now they crashed into each other, exploding behind the dam, breaking everything in their way. He opened his eyes igniting the same type of emotion into Ichigo's eyes. And the next breath felt like his last.

“My beloved,” he said it with the conviction of a dying man. A beatific smile came as an answer to his prayer. And the kiss scorched the ruins of that dam, releasing all the emotions into Byakuya's inner world.

And it was worth it.

*******

More than one hundred years of existence amounted to nothing as Byakuya wiped his hands against his trousers before he gathered enough courage to ring the doorbell. Upon requesting a meeting with the utmost urgency, Isshin Kurosaki had granted him one on Sunday morning, advising him that Ichigo's sisters would come as well. And yes, the mighty Byakuya Kuchiki felt sick to his stomach when the older Kurosaki answered the door lacking his usual buffoonery and enthusiasm.

“Kuchiki.” Isshin nodded in acknowledgement and opened the door wider.

“Kurosaki,” Byakuya grumbled like a ten-year-old kid, and damn the whole Kurosaki family making Byakuya so tongue-tied that the entire Soul Society would have laughed their heads off.

“Please, come in. My daughters are waiting for us.”

What the Kuchiki mansion lacked completely and what the Kurosaki household had abundantly was warmth and the pure sense of a home. Despite the grotesque poster that Isshin seemed so much in love with, there were books and games strewn everywhere. It was an organized chaos of ribbons and gloves, books and papers, blankets and comforters making everything look all the more comfortable despite the well-worn feeling of the furniture.

Ichigo's sisters were already waiting for them, sitting nervously on the couch, different snacks and fresh lemonade arranged inconspicuously on the coffee table. Karin seemed less inclined to show her true emotions, her arms crossed, and staring at Byakuya completely unimpressed. Whereas Yuzu appeared to be the only one inclined at the moment in the Kurosaki household to make him feel at home, gesturing for Byakuya to take a seat on one of the armchairs and offering tea.

The tea was served mostly in silence, Isshin trying to make small talk with Byakuya, but failing miserably. After he took one sip from his tea, he settled the cup down on the table and bravely faced the Kurosaki family.

“I have come here to request the official permission to court Ichigo.”

“Oh, my!” Yuzu exclaimed and blushed furiously.

“From what my son has been telling me, you've been doing this for more than half a year,” Isshin said calmly as he drank his tea, too. Byakuya was not surprised as he had never once expected Ichigo to hold the truth away from his family. “What has changed?”

“Nothing,” Byakuya replied bravely, drawing a hiss from Karin's part. However, that small gesture only spurred Byakuya on. “Look, I could stay here all day and wax poetic about what a wonderful man Ichigo is and how lucky I am that he wants me, out of everyone in this wretched universe. Then, we could waste another day as you would tell me about how much I don't deserve him, which I don't, and how he could always find someone better, which he could. Neither of these options is viable. All I can say is that Ichigo has been my beloved long before we started anything, and possibly long after we will wither away into nothingness. And Ichigo loves you all very much. Therefore, it would mean a lot for both of us if you could give us your blessing. Please.”

“Well, this was unexpected.” Isshin suddenly grinned at him.

“You're not going to tell us that you love him?” Karin asked harshly, leaning forward, sudden defiance coursing through her veins. Stubbornness and fire blended into a familiar mix.

“I will not say those words, for I have not told them to Ichigo yet. Nor do I think they can encompass what I truly feel about him. I could promise you that I will do my best to protect him and try to make him happy. But bear in mind that I am only human after all, and I might fail at times.” Byakuya cleared his voice, his eyes focused, his heart opened. “I guess that is what I am honestly asking. Permission to fail, because I will. But I will try my best to make amends.”

“Then permission granted.” Ichigo's youngest sister smiled kindly at him, while Isshin tried but failed to hide his grin behind one of his hands, and failing miserably.

“Yuzu!” Karin shouted. “We were going to grill him a bit more before taking him off the hook.”

“I couldn't help myself.” Yuzu blushed again. “He speaks so delightfully about our brother and he is so opened and honest!”

“Fine!” Karin rolled her eyes in a familiar gesture to Byakuya and waved her hand reluctantly. “Permission granted to court Ichi-nii.”

“Wait! Just like that?” Byakuya had prepared a speech, goddamn it. He had had arguments, for crying out loud, he had even made a chart of the most important arguments that he would have brought in his favor. And they what? Decided to accept him from the very beginning?

“Yes. Just like that.” Yuzu beamed. “Ichigo may be wrong about many things, but never about people's character. And you make him happy. We've seen the way he looks when he speaks about you. We've listened to him talking about how amazing you are, time and time again. We know Ichigo, and thanks to him, we know you. And that's enough for us.”

“Whoever makes Ichigo happy is enough for us,” Karin pressed on.

“But,” Isshin gained his tough composure again, the one that made shinigami armies tremble and enemies scurry back in their dark corners of the universe, “if you hurt my son deliberately and unapologetically, I promise you that not even the Soul King will save you.”

p class="western" align="justify">Byakuya might have nodded and swallowed hard with all the solemnity that he was capable of in such a moment.

“Masaki!” Isshin suddenly yelled and crashed into the matriarchal image of the Kurosaki family. “Masaki! Our boy has all but grown up! A man has come to ask for his hand! Who's going to be next, my dearest Masaki? What men or women will come for our sweetest daughters?” Karin face-palmed, as Yuzu just shook her head in amusement. Just like that, the solemnity of the entire moment was ruined.

Though the seriousness of Isshin's threat would follow Byakuya somewhat in the future, on that day, he simply stayed in that armchair and ate delicious snacks, drinking fresh lemonade and finishing his tea with Ichigo's sisters, ignoring completely the patriarch of the family, who continued to cry out and babble against that ridiculous poster.

The sun was about to set when he returned to Soul Society. In front of the gate, like an eager puppy, Ichigo was waiting for him. He took one good look at Byakuya and started laughing, ignoring the guards around them.

“He threatened you, didn’t he?” He said, trying to catch his breath.

“I honestly fail to grasp the humor in this situation.” Byakuya shook his head, suddenly light-hearted. He reached for Ichigo and pulled him by his shoulders, falling into step with the young man. “Any disaster while I was gone?”

“Just the usual.” Ichigo shook his head and smiled warmly. Now Byakuya could name that emotion filling them both to the brim. Now he finally had the courage to call it by what it was.

“No mischief that involved you? No disaster averted at the last moment? I am slightly disappointed,” Byakuya added as he leaned towards Ichigo.

“I could go and find Kenpachi if you want trouble so much,” Ichigo said amused by Byakuya's openness but going along with his gestures, mimicking his light-heartedness.

“How about I just do this instead?” Byakuya said determinedly.

Having said that, Byakuya Kuchiki closed the distance between them and kissed the hell out of Ichigo Kurosaki.

It was magnificent and brilliant.

It was a triumph.

****The End****

**Author's Note:**

> I apologize for any mistakes left. English is my second language and I couldn't find a beta for this story. Not a lot of shippers for this pair out there, I presume. :)


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